The Highly Entertaining Yet Impractical Use Of An Elliptical Machine

Brad Pitt played a character given to similar antics in the 2008 movie "Burn After Reading."

She was kind of peddling the elliptical in a manner fitting for an elliptical machine, but that didn’t matter… girlfriend had turned it into a dance floor!

You know, when you go dancing and the floor is packed, you really don’t need a lot of square footage to get your groove on. For those of us gifted with grooviness, we don’t have to have a lot of foot action as the rhythms take over our whole body. Like it or not, pretty or not… it’s our show and away we go!

Wiggle Waggle Womp! <— I do not know exactly what that is; it just happened.

As a friend in high school said while teaching me to dance to Cameo’s Single Life, “Don’t dance to the music, let the music dance you!”

While I haven’t gone club-hopping in many moons, I was thoroughly entertained the other day by a fellow Gym Goer’s thoroughness in making sure that whatever song she was listening to got FULLY expressed through movement. While going through the motions of being on an elliptical machine, somehow she was possessed by Beyonce and delivered a gym stopping highly entertaining performance.

She had on a pair of grey spandex shorts; stretched to their maximum capacity, with an equally tight top. Her hair was piled high on top. It was Chaka Khan‘ish, and her complexion was radiant. Full figured, fully beautiful, and in full motion.

… lots and lots of motion …

She was two rows in front of me to the left. Overall, about 40 feet away. She caught everyone’s attention because with, and I am not kidding, the amount of body rolling hip swaying she was doing… it’s a bonafide miracle she didn’t fall off that machine. Not only that, even though she didn’t fall off, I was concerned she might take out the people to her right and left through second-hand centrifugal force! She was not singing out loud, but she might as well of been; her nonverbals and lip-synching would have put any Pop Princess to shame.

She was totally feeling that song. I mean feeeeeeling it … deep within her soul feeling it.

When she got to a really heated verse, out whipped the pointy-fingered-neck-swivel that let you know… she was not one to be trifled with!

I have to admit… this part of her performance made me chuckle out loud.

When she eventually climbed down off the elliptical, the concert was over. A few other gym goers actually yelled to her, “HEY! HEY!!!… what song where you listening to?” She smiled and took out her ear buds. I didn’t hear her response, but I was impressed that she didn’t act shy at all. She had a short conversation with them. Smiling, she confidently left the cardio area.

I am happy that I am not the only one to ever get busted for holding my own concert while on the elliptical machine. My specialty is air-guitar.

“LifeFlow” – The Journey Behind The Painting


Martha and Mary

38 Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; 42 but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

Luke 10:38-42

Late February, maybe early March, I went to the art store. I had created a few paintings over the holidays and absolutely loved the refuge/communion that activity provided. While creating them I kept thinking, “This is a life-giving and affirming activity. This is a major part of who God created me to be.” However, as I stood looking at the blank canvasses in the art store, I was focusing on the smaller canvasses. It occurred to me to not “settle” for limiting my artistic vision.

So, I just went all hog-wild and chose a 3×4 foot canvas!

Buying this giant of a canvas literally made my stomach nervously rumble as I took it up to the counter to purchase.

Mike Had Big Hair & Heels, I Miss That Guy

EXIF/JPEG image with thumb

This is the house I lived in for about 18 months. I rented a couch, not a room, for $40 a week most of that time. I was there from the Spring of 1988 till the fall of 1989 and most of it was a blur.

I waited tables to earn enough money to party, partied till I was out of money, slept in someone else’s bed or on my $40 a week couch … mostly the couch, Then I would wake up in time to go back to waiting tables and repeat the cycle for a year and a half.

During that time I drank 5 out of 7 days a week, did more drugs than I ever thought I would. Especially after I pledged to never do any drugs my freshman year in high school. I was also involved in a very abusive relationship.

It was during that time I did my share of terrible things to make ends meet, to get drugs … to be a part, to appease my partner … it wasn’t just a blur … it was a dark blur.