The Dawn of the Big Ass Spider Apocalypse

big ass spiderFor a while there… I thought the evil Big Ass Spider Horde had given up trying to take over RandyThomasHQ. Alas, it was not true. The demonic fueled vessels of horror released a tidal wave of hatred the past couple of weeks that … well … ::: drifting off ::: It was a clever ploy for creatures who have such an easily splatt-able brain. I wanted to write about the relentless waves of their most recent assault but have been tied up with helping a client finish her book. I will get to the epic tales of BATTLE! soon. In the meantime, here is a 2013 update that got a lot of necessary attention (because we are in this together my friend!) on my old blog. It is scary, bold, dramatic, noble, awe-inspiring, fierce (in a BATTLE! way, not a “OMG FASHION!” way) and well … you will probably want to write an inspirational song that will be sung by future generations of Hobbits after reading it.

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(Originally written August 30th, 2013

Something happened in the ongoing WAR! with the evil Spidersesses that was traumatic and I needed some time to recover.

Well, it is two weeks later, I have had time to heal, pray, talk to my therapist, and reinterpret the events through dance. I will not talk past what I know, but it is time to share the horror of that evening.

::: must.stay.strong ::: deep.breath :::

Normally the Big Ass Spiders wait until I am half dressed and trying to put on my socks, or use the bathroom, to launch their hideous offensives. Every once in a while I will hear their diabolical giggling and a cold chill goes down my t-shirt clad spine.

::: raising a righteous fist of indignation for the whole of RandyThomasHQ to see ::: “Stupid, devil gigglers!”

But, the night of August 16th will forever be etched into my scarred psyche.