The Dawn of the Big Ass Spider Apocalypse

big ass spiderFor a while there… I thought the evil Big Ass Spider Horde had given up trying to take over RandyThomasHQ. Alas, it was not true. The demonic fueled vessels of horror released a tidal wave of hatred the past couple of weeks that … well … ::: drifting off ::: It was a clever ploy for creatures who have such an easily splatt-able brain. I wanted to write about the relentless waves of their most recent assault but have been tied up with helping a client finish her book. I will get to the epic tales of BATTLE! soon. In the meantime, here is a 2013 update that got a lot of necessary attention (because we are in this together my friend!) on my old blog. It is scary, bold, dramatic, noble, awe-inspiring, fierce (in a BATTLE! way, not a “OMG FASHION!” way) and well … you will probably want to write an inspirational song that will be sung by future generations of Hobbits after reading it.


(Originally written August 30th, 2013

Something happened in the ongoing WAR! with the evil Spidersesses that was traumatic and I needed some time to recover.

Well, it is two weeks later, I have had time to heal, pray, talk to my therapist, and reinterpret the events through dance. I will not talk past what I know, but it is time to share the horror of that evening.

::: must.stay.strong ::: deep.breath :::

Normally the Big Ass Spiders wait until I am half dressed and trying to put on my socks, or use the bathroom, to launch their hideous offensives. Every once in a while I will hear their diabolical giggling and a cold chill goes down my t-shirt clad spine.

::: raising a righteous fist of indignation for the whole of RandyThomasHQ to see ::: “Stupid, devil gigglers!”

But, the night of August 16th will forever be etched into my scarred psyche.